Monday, August 3, 2009
how not to paint chairs
1) dig a dusty chair out of the attic. 2) do not wash, brush off dust, or do any other kind of preparatory work. 3) use only gunky, cheap old craft paints, and 4) slap them on quickly and randomly. 5) do not let dry in between coats. 6) leave doors closed to keep the vapors in. 7) make sure you have two children to care for/mediate/feed/reprimand/ soothe, a lawn to mow, bills to pay, two projects due, a toy to dig out of the sink, applesauce to clean off the deck, a suitcase to pack, etc. this will keep your effort level to a minimum. 8) place flowers on the chair for a staged effect. 9) take a photo in direct sunlight to wash out the colors. 10) enjoy your new chair.